“Men act and women appear” (John Berger- ways of seeing)

If a man does not act in accordance with the way his society tells him he should be acting he may feel that he is unsuccessful as a man. He may not feel adequate enough if he is not earning enough money, or not able to stand up for himself when faced with confrontation. So does that mean that if a woman doesn’t appear the way her society tells her she should appear, she is unsuccessful as a woman? should she feel inadequate? Why do we place so much emphasis on physical appearance?  Are we just  projecting our own expectations (acquired from the experiences we have had in our lives) onto other people?

I remember being a young teen walking through town and having other girls critique my figure and my way of dressing as if  being anything other then what was expected was an offence to them, even though I was no one to them. I used to love being “creative” as a kid with the way I dressed, comments from strangers soon put a stop to that for a while. I felt like a bad person for experimenting. Why? and for what? Young boys can also be your worst enemy if you do not match up to their physical standards. I just wonder why we have adopted this way of viewing people? and what other issues does this way of perceiving the world cause? would we be happier if we taught the next generation that physical appearance does not make some people good/better and others bad/worse. It just makes us all unique.